I have come to the conclusion that the things that I want to be perfect will never be and if I keep waiting for them to be then I will be waiting forever. In the words of Lori Hard; “Perfectionism is an intellectuals excuse for procrastination.” And “Perfectionism is paralyzing, and perfection does not exist.” From her book A Tribe Called Bliss. These words stuck with me, because I have always claimed to be a perfectionist and I would push doing things back because they weren’t “perfect”. It has been a big procrastination for me, I always think that whatever project I have been working on that, “oh it could be better, or well let’s just wait until it’s better.” Excuse after excuse and it never gets done. Recently I started a YouTube Channel called DefyingLee Fit, and I have been planning on creating this YouTube Channel for well over a year, it has taking me this long to do it.

Let me go through a little play by play of the process that went into finally putting up my YouTube Channel (I’m sure you can probably guess but here we go). The negative thoughts and the limiting beliefs sweep through and I questioned everything that I wanted to do. I knew I wanted to start a YouTube Channel sharing my yoga sequences and mediation videos, but I would think well I don’t have a great expensive camera or had the right filming equipment. There were also the doubts of would anyone want to watch my videos, would I even have good content, am I a good enough yogi? Just all the self doubts surfacing and questioning. This year I promised my self I would make it happen, and I tried filming a yoga sequence. I did the first one and started picking it apart. The picture quality isn’t the best, it was dark, and I was just not looking at all the good things about it.

I so wanted these videos to be perfect, I haven’t been working out for months because I was supposed to be taking it easy because of my pericarditis and I didn’t know if I looked good enough to be a yoga teacher. All these excuses were holding me back, I wanted everything to be perfect, I wanted it to be flawless, I wanted to wait until it was all ready. After I filmed the first one, I deleted it and I really wish I hadn’t. I should have used that one to look at how I can improve in the future and look at what stage I am now. I should have used as a tool. But it was gone so I had to move on and no matter what the next one looked like I would keep it and use it. I filmed the next video and again I just picked it apart. The lighting was not great, it was kind of dark and I didn’t think I looked like the best I could be. I wanted to put off making more videos and not post anything until it was perfect. I was stuck between I want to make yoga videos and I want them to look perfect, it was just an endless circle of I want to but can’t. I finally had to realize that if I continued to wait until it was perfect, I was never going to start a YouTube Channel.

                It took some time, but I had to be brave and I posted my very first video. It is not perfect, the lighting isn’t the best, but its started. I had taken the first steps to building up my channel, and then worry about the technical stuff later. And eventually work towards having the vision come to light in its full glory, but for now I need to be ok with it, in its early stages. Sometimes I think that we are worried for others to see our flaws, and that can be in our work, or even in our every day just being you. It is ok not to be perfect, it shows that you are human. I have come to be happy and excited to show the messy parts, because if you think about it, it’ll be showing my growth and where I started. It’s what can make us relatable to others and sharing our journeys can help connect us to one another. It’s the same with the website I built and the blog posts I publish, I know that they aren’t perfect but again, I had to start somewhere.

It can be a little intimidating but when you get past that, it is such a freeing feeling and it gives you a new boost of confidence. Like wow this was so scary to me, but I did it anyway and accomplished it and it makes me feel good. So, I say stop striving for perfect, let go of perfectionism and focus on starting and getting it done, then work on improving over time. Stop letting this idea of if I wait it’ll be better, because before you know it you are going to wait and wait, and you will never get it done. Go after those projects you have always wanted to do and finish them. Then look back and build on it, let it be the foundation for where you want it to go.

Never let fear of not being perfect stop you from doing anything, start and watch it grow.

Xoxo Kristy